Political Jokes

THE FACTS OF LIFE
Boy: Dad, what's politics?
Dad: Let me set an example with our family. I have all the money so we'll call me the management. Mom receives most of it so we'll call her the government. We'll call the maid the working class, you are the people, and your baby brother is the future. Do you understand now son?
Boy: I still don't understand dad.
Dad: Think about it for a while son. That night the boy wakes up because his baby brother is crying. He goes in and finds out he's soiled his diapers. He goes to tell his mom but she's asleep he goes in to the maids room but she's in there having sex with his dad. He bangs on the door but no one can here him. The next day...
Son: Dad I understand politics now.
Dad: Good, explain it to me in your own words son.
Son: The management is screwing the working class while the governments fast asleep. The people are being ignored and the future is full of SHIT!

HILARY VISITS HOSPITAL
Hilary Clinton was taking a tour of a D.C. hospital while working to reform healthcare in the U.S. As she is touring, a doctor is explaining all the different functions of the hospital to her.
Eventually, they pass an open room in the inpatient ward, where Hilary could clearly see a middle aged man masturbating with great enthusiasm. The doctor quickly instructed the floor nurse to close the door. It was too late, Hilary had already seen. She fiercely looked at the doctor and said,
"What kind of hospital are you running here Doctor?" The doctor calmly explained to the First Lady that the man had a very rare ailment, which required him to ejaculate three times daily, or his testicles would swell and he would die. Hilary accepted the doctor's explanation and they moved on.
A few minutes later, they came across another open room, yet this time they witnessed a nurse on her knees giving a different middle aged man oral sex. Hilary was outraged and called for an immediate explanation.
"It's very simple Mrs. Clinton", said the doctor. "This man suffers from the same ailment as the last man, however he has a much better health plan."

A TALE OF TWO PIGS
Clinton returns from a vacation in Arkansas and walks down the steps of Air Force One with two pigs under his arms.
At the bottom of the steps, the honor guardsman steps forward and remarks, "Nice pigs, Mr. President"
Clinton replies, "I'll have to let you know that these are genuine Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary.. So, now what do you think?"
The honor guardsman answers: "Nice trade, Sir."

THE PUPPY TRADER
Hillary Clinton was on her way somewhere when he came across a little boy selling puppies. She stops and asks the boy "What kind of puppies are they?"
The boy replies, "They're Democratic puppies, Ma'am." With this she smiles and walks off.
Later on that day she mentions to Bill about the boy and his puppies and suggested that it might be nice to have a puppy around the house. The next week Bill was on his way to McDonald's and saw the boy and his puppies.
He stops and asks the boy, "What kind of puppies are they?"
The boy replies, "They're Republican puppies, Sir."
"Republican puppies?" Bill asked. "Last week you told my wife they were Democratic puppies."
The boy replied, "I know, Sir. But since then they opened their eyes."

ORDERING DINNER
Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight's special is chicken almandine and fresh fish.
"The chicken sounds good, I'll have that," Hillary says.
The waiter nods: "And the vegetable?" he asks.
"Oh, HE'll have the fish," Hillary replies.